Ommmmm-m-m-m.........

Taoists believe that in order to be near God we must seek him in simple tasks like chopping wood and carrying water. This I believe. And I also believe that God is in creating things. At least that's where I feel closest to God. My art will never hang in an art museum, but doing it on a constant basis is, quite literally, necessary to my well being and my sense of oneness, whether anyone else ever sees it or not.

I've been working on a large painting for our new Sunday School classroom. If it turns out okay, I'll show you. Otherwise, I played one day with some really low tech media, including Crayola crayons, a travel iron and cheap shaving cream.

Encaustic wax painting is an ancient art technique; I've never been able to convince myself that I would like it well enough (or be good enough at it) to spend the money on real wax color cubes and tools, so the crayons and travel iron are a fun substitute. My canvas is a sheet of freezer paper. With a little practice, (or no practice at all) you can create landscapes, seascapes, and abstracts worthy of matting and framing. It's just a happy little exercise that gets your juices flowing.

You may have made marbled paper in elementary school art class. I like to make stacks of marbled card stock for later use in collages and note cards. Just pump the shaving cream onto a flat pan, drip watercolors, acrylics, or even food coloring onto it and pull a comb or other tools through it to make swirls. Lay your sheet of paper on top and press firmly enough to push it into the paint. Raise carefully, wipe away excess and let dry. It takes a lot of shaving cream, so don't forget to buy your husband another can.



........and then we decided 10 month old Marley needed to be neutered. Our perfectly house trained Shih Tzu was having testosterone surges and marking hither and yon throughout the house. He was also becoming more prone to run from us outdoors and even to growl at us if we picked him up when he didn't want to be picked up. All the signs said that our puppy needed his hormones reined in. Those of you who know me know it was a hard decision for me, but the deed was done on Monday, an interminably long day, and I brought him home about 4 PM and dressed him in a onesy to keep him from chewing at his stitches.

Long story short, we've had a rough rest of the week. He had more pain and got sicker than I expected, and I got a killer migraine. Along with the hellish, blinding pain, migraines (and the meds) take away my hope and my connection with God; I'm always sure that this one is never going away. When it's time for me to die, I hope I have a migraine, and I won't mind going as much.

The reverse side of the coin is that once a migraine is gone, I'm sure that's the last one I'll ever have. I woke up this morning with no pain but still drugged from the Maxalt, still worried about Marley and needed to make a quick run to Wal-Mart. On the way there, I got behind a white SUV with license plate "200 MMN". Maybe I was looking for something to pull me out of my pain induced drug haze, but I began to hum.....Ommmmm-m-m-m......... and to meditate as I drove through the morning school traffic.

Meditating is listening to God. I figure God gets tired of being told what to do. Be still and know that I am God. (Psalms 46:10) More than keeping my body still, it means to still my mind and my tongue and open myself up to the mind-altering majesty that is God, who has had some pretty spectacular ideas all on his own. By the time I got home, I felt the connection returning. Marley is slowly getting better, and I'm working on a couple more painting projects. Life is good. Ommmmm-m-m-m

migraine

Migraine: "A neurological syndrome characterized by altered bodily perceptions, headaches, and nausea. The typical migraine headache is unilateral and pulsating, lasting from 4 to 72 hours; symptoms include nausea, vomiting, photophobia (increased sensitivity to bright light), and hyperacusis (increased sensitivity to sound...."

This is part of Wikipedia's definition of migraine..........72 hours? I wish that had been my longest one. Back in the day, when I was going to specialists right and left, trying everything I could research to find the cure for my blinding, marathon headaches, the longest one lasted 3 weeks, that's day and night, taking meds, no relief. During that chapter of my life, I came to know why some people take their own lives out of desperation. My migraine journal shows I had one 70% of the time; that's the close the blinds, keep all the noises down, ice pack on my head in bed, and crawling to the toilet to barf variety. We couldn't make plans because I'd probably be unable to go, and I wouldn't let Jim tell the neighbors I was in bed with a migraine when they asked where I was because I didn't want to be known as that poor woman who always has a migraine.

And I didn't make a very good guinea pig for my doctor at the Arkansas Headache Clinic who was more interested in gathering statistics for her medical journal articles than she was in curing patients. I still have tubs full of meds that didn't work, just to remind me in case I ever am tempted to try them again. Most of them put me into a zombified state, so I didn't stick with them, telling her that on the rare day when I didn't have a migraine, I would like to spend it in my right mind. But it's my cynical view of medicine that in most instances it's more in the medical profession's interest to keep us alive and ailing than it is to cure any disease.

Ok, so today's topic isn't uplifting, and I should add that along the way, I've gained partial control of my migraines, beginning when I discovered (with the help of a book called The Maker's Diet by Dr. Jordan Rubin) that my addiction and my trigger were one and the same: sugar. Well, actually all junk food because I also can't do white flour, MSG, added chemicals that I can't pronounce, etc. Basically, if it tastes wickedly delicious, I should spit it out. But at one time, I was so addicted to Coca Colas that I had a little fridge beside my bed so I could have my first one of the day before I got out of bed. These days, I rely on Perrier for my fizz fix. In our society it's soooo much easier, less expensive, and basically more fun, to eat like a junkfood junkie.

So, how did I get the migraine that knocked me for a loop last night and has me woozy from the Maxalt today? Like a child who keeps thinking she'll get away with it this time, I relapsed at the cookout yesterday and ate forbidden food.......not copious quantities, just 2 or 3 slices of grilled boudin sausage, a brownie, stuff like that, as I grazed with everyone else over the tables of holiday food. And yes, I'm feeling sorry for myself today........ I envy people who don't have to worry about living it up occasionally, but I'll get over it. Hopefully I'll be back Monday, working out at the fitness center, and I'll make better food choices.........maybe forever.