Growing Pains

(Click on the paintings to enlarge them)

Gee, thanks Mom, for finally letting me post. I mean, I'm almost grown, and I've posted like 3 or 4 times, hello? I'll be one year old on Sunday, not much chance of getting a birthday cake, though. We never get good stuff like chips or cookies; I've never even tasted a Twinkie! Maybe she'll give me a pork chop with a candle stuck in it, woohoo.

I'm sure Mom told you about my getting "fixed" (she has no sense of privacy).........well, nothing actually got fixed, just a scary day at the vet's, some missing parts, and a few days of feeling really, really bad and having to wear a stupid onesy, embarrassing! But I bounced back, and I don't get fussed at anymore for forgetting where to tinkle.

I still play, hunt and potty in the backyard several times a day..............I can't bark in the house, without someone saying "Hush, Marley", but I get to bark out there...........between 9 am and 9 pm..........can you believe she has a barking schedule? Seriously..... Mom and Dad's communication skills are coming along. I'm supposed to ring the bell they hung on the backdoor when I want to go out, but it scares me, so I just sit there and look cute till somebody notices me. And when I want something to eat or a toy I can't find, all I have to do is sit and look up at mom and make a little growling, moaning sound in my throat, and she'll get up and get it for me every time.

Dad has been gone to camp since Wednesday, and he's coming home today! Mom plays with me, but she doesn't let me bite, so what's the point? Dad scuffles and rolls on the floor with me, and things get pretty wild. I miss him so much! Moms are better for loving than Dads, and I scramble up and bend my head back so that my neck is hugging hers. I also hug Aunt Tres, and she gets to laughing so hard she can barely breathe. She's a really good dog person.

Ashley is coming on Saturday to train me to do something.......I already know just about everything, so I'm not sure what they want me to do now, maybe play the banjo or something. Peoples never seem to be happy with the way a guy is. I'll let you know how that goes. Poor Ashley, she's probably bringin' doggie treats. Mom is always bringing home healthy treats for me to try. Sometimes I like 'em once, but then I'm through. She takes the stuff I won't eat to the animal shelter. I guess there are some guys there who are hungrier than I am. Bet they'd rather have Twinkies. Hey, thanks for stopping by; I'll see you soon!

Turtle Surgery, Challenging Authority, & Chasing Birds

Guess what! I got a new toy. His name is Turtle. I've almost chewed his leg off, and Mom put him away till she gets around to sewing it back on; maybe I'll get it back someday. Anyway, I s'pose I ought to tell you that I've been in a little trouble lately, mostly about where I tinkle.....Mom says the internet tells her I'm going through adolescence and that I'm challenging authority, like when Dad throws the golf ball, I used to bring it back to him for Cheerios, but these days, it's way more fun to make him beg. Whoever the internet is, I like when it tells Mom about puppies 'cause it makes it okay to be me.

I mean, I got potty training down just perfect for a while, and you know how nutso Mom and Dad are about that kinda stuff, so they were real happy and told me Good Boy a lot! But sometimes it feels good to let 'er rip wherever I'm standing; I even peed on their bed (good thing Mom had a big, thick pad on it, otherwise Goodwill would have been getting a nice, new mattress with one tiny yellow stain in the middle of it this morning), and that got me exiled to my crate for the whole night, probably for a gazillion nights to come, 'cause Dad is still pretty mad at me, and Mom said I would be spending a couple of hours a day in the crate, to remind me to hold it. I don't mind so much, and I never put up a fuss; she always puts in an organic biscuit and my blue chewie dawg, and it gives me time to ponder life's important stuff, like chewing.

But hey, I play outside a lot, too, and I've discovered birds! We got lotsa birds. There's a nest of robins on the arbor, a nest of bluebirds in the little birdhouse Dad built, a nest of brown thrushes in the Chinese Witch Hazel, and a nest of noisy Mockingbirds in the Holly bush. I love to chase robins best because they're brave and cocky, and they steal the worms from our yard, all day long! I'm 'bout the fastest dog in the world, but I haven't caught one yet because just about the time I'm closing in and ready to nab one, it cheats and flies off! Watch out, suckas, one o' these days.......

Sometimes I wonder how Mom ever made it without me, though. I help her do everything, like sorting dirty laundry.......well, not actually sorting it, but I do grab socks and take off with them; it gives Mom exercise when she goes to find them. When she writes checks, I like to sit on the desk. She says I make a cute, fluffy paper weight; I'm very good and don't bother her papers, but I love smelling them. Did you know our mailman owns a cat? I can tell just from smelling the letters. I watch the writing as it comes out of her pen. Maybe I'll be able to make it write when I grow up.

So, that's how things have been going, workin' on the ol' potty training again, chasing ornery birds, helping Mom with the chores, and hoping Turtle gets well soon. (P.S. Mom says don't worry if you can't see my eyes. I can see fine, but we're trying to let my face hair grow out. I'll look totally awesome!)

Interview with Marley

(Click on the photos to zoom in)

My first 2 weeks with Mom and Dad have gone pretty well. Yeah, mom started out saying she wasn't going to be a dog's mama, but she gave in pretty fast. I think my name is Marley, but she also calls me her "woobie". Maybe that's my middle name. Dad calls me a lot of things in his big voice, and I don't always know if he's being funny or mad. He lies down in the floor and lets me romp all over him till I start biting. What else is a puppy s'pose to do?

There's a lot of exitement over where I go potty. They seem to like it best when I do it on the pads in the kitchen; when I do it on the carpet, they stop being happy. Dogs are always happy; I wonder why people aren't. I don't know what they do with the poo when they take it away. Maybe I don't want to know. They ask me a million times a day if I "need go potty". Get a life, people! I'm workin' on muscle control here! When I remember to go on the pads, mom gives me a taste of peanut butter. Oh my goodness! Have you ever had peanut butter? If I were a people, it's all I would ever eat! Hold on a minute, there's something scary in the corner.............I have to bark at every scary thing or else it might steal the peanut butter.

Yesterday I forgot and started peeing on the carpet in the computer room, and mom grabbed me up with her hand over my pee-pee, and as she ran through the living room, she said to Dad, "If someone had told me a month ago that I'd be running through the house with a handful of dog pee, I would have called them nuts!" She wasn't mad at me, though.

That mom of mine is soooo beautiful! Not beautiful like a dog and maybe not even as a people, but I sit at her feet while she's on the computer and gaze at her. What a babe! I love Dad, too, but mostly for his shoes! I kid you not, his old house slippers smell heavenly! I try to stuff my whole body, head first, into them. Mom wears shoes, too, but hers are nothing to write home about, if you know what I mean.

Mom and Dad are slightly bonkers about clean. It wasn't such a big deal over at Peggy's house where I was born, but everyday Mom brushes my hair and washes my face, ears, paws and privates. She has even started brushing my teeth, which isn't so bad 'cause I eat the toothpaste. I try to eat everything I can find. I found a big, crusty dead bug in the yard yesterday, and it tasted nice, but mom took it away from me; I guess she likes bugs, too. She gave me a dandelion instead, which didn't taste nearly as good but was fun to eat, and she laughed because I had yellow petals stuck in my whiskers. So, that's how things are going. They're doing a fairly good job taking care of me. Mom reads a lot about dogs on the internet and in books. I guess she's trying to get smart as me.